3 Ways to Practice Openness in a Relationship - wikiHow
I've never resonated with the usual dating and courtship process. Traditional dating is actually one of our society's most ineffective inventions. The difference between openness and honesty. Some people mistakenly confuse openness with honesty thinking that they are the same thing while in fact they. Honesty is a key component of a healthy relationship, yet 64 percent of but they come from a place of vulnerability and openness that can.
Look for the following qualities, as well as look to become the following things to the people in your life that you wish to develop a deeper level of trust with: People who act differently than those who have hurt you before. People with the ability to accept your imperfections and love you anyway. People who are no stranger to pain, yet are recovering.
People who are aware of their own deficits. People who speak the truth to you lovingly. People who draw us closer to God People who draw us closer to others.
People who help you become the person you were created to be, and celebrate with you. People who accept you just as you are. People whose influence develops your ability to love and be more responsible. Someone who gives you an opportunity to grow. Someone who increases love within you. Someone you can be yourself around. Someone who always allows you to be on the outside what you are on the inside — valuing authenticity. Someone who helps you become the person you want to be and were created to be.
Someone who helps you to love others more. Finding our way to Total Honesty I believe in total honesty in your most intimate relationship with your spouse. I believe how much you reveal to others depends on the depth of the connection. Obviously we do not need to reveal all things to everyone, and though this topic is geared mostly to intimate relationships, I believe that the more authentic, upfront, and honest we are in our most intimate relationships, the more forthcoming we will become in other areas of our lives, in regard to living with integrity.
The following are some areas most couples find difficult to be honest about: Some little hurt or disappointment that is left inside to fester and get worse will end up controlling you if you don't get rid of it at the first available opportunity.
Last Days Ministries : Openness and Honesty
The Bible tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger Eph. If we keep things inside, one hurt piles up on another Unfortunately, many people are too proud to do that. Rather than expose their true feelings or their weaknesses, they choose to walk around with hurt and bitterness in their hearts. Sure, it's embarrassing when seemingly trivial things upset you. But even these things need to be brought into the open, talked about, and prayed over.
Those who are too proud to share their real feelings will usually let you know by their actions and expressions that something is wrong - but they won't tell you what it is! They want you to guess, or better yet, somehow read their minds. They may "help" you by dropping sarcastic little hints, but they will never come right out and tell you what is bothering them.
Someone who acts like this is very frustrating to be around, not to mention to try to live with. They are really playing a cruel and selfish game - for they expect to be understood without making any effort to be understandable.Truth Telling in Relationships, are we There Yet? - Willie Earley - TEDxJerseyCity
Love Believes All Things Another area that we need to be careful in is coming to wrong conclusions about other people's actions. But instead of asking him what's wrong, you think, "What is he so upset about - I wonder if he's mad at me?
Oh, he's probably, still upset ever that disagreement we had this morning. Well, he has a lot of nerve - I thought we settled that! Why can't he just forget about it? If we weren't always so worried about ourselves, we would have more time to be truly concerned about others. If this wife would have taken the time to ask her husband what was wrong, she might have found out that he had an exceptionally hard day at work, or that he was upset with him self because God gave him a test, and he failed miserably.
But instead of believing the best, she assumed the worst - and missed an opportunity to minister to him by lovingly pointing him back to Jesus. How can we hope to know what's happening in someone's heart, if we don't care enough about them to take the time to find out? Love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. If others love only the front we put up, but not the "real us" - we will never really feel total satisfaction from that love.
- Openness & Honesty
On the other hand, there tends to be a fear that the person we really are would not be as well loved as the person everyone thinks we are. And so the show must go on. In a strange way, this may be a rather "safe" place for some people to be - because if for some reason they are rejected, they can excuse themselves with the fact that it wasn't "really me" anyway. Therefore, they don't need to take full responsibility for what might be wrong in their life, or work towards changing it.
This is a vicious cycle, and it takes a conscious effort, along with much prayer and strength from the Holy Spirit, to change it. If you don't give others a chance to love the "real you," you will never know that it is possible. First you must see that the root of your problem is sin. Your fear of rejection is really the fear of man. Many seek the ruler's husband's, wife's, friend's favor, but justice for man comes from the Lord. If we fear the right person, we will find ourselves doing the right things!
Have You Given Up? If your marriage is sick, you must do everything in your power to make it well again. If you give up and think, "Nothing's going to help," or, "She'll never change," you are just signing the "death certificate" for your marriage.
At first you may have to push yourself to communicate.
It may seem forced and unnatural, but don't let that discourage you. The more you do it, the easier it will get. When your marriage gets back on its feet, you will be grateful that you made the effort. No matter how painful it may be initially Just think of a dangerously ill person who is being force-fed through a tube that's running down his throat, into his stomach. Sure, it might be embarrassing to be in that position and no doubt it is pretty uncomfortable - but at least he is being kept alive!
When he gets better he'll have the strength to feed himself, but he will always be grateful for that "awful tube" - and the fact that his family and doctor loved him too much to give up on him.
Some Practical Steps One day my husband came up home and said, "What things could I do to make you happier? I thought hard, but I was very surprised to find that I could only come up with a few things. I thought there would be a lot more! Then I asked Keith the same question and he could only think of a couple of things too. We were both amazed that such a few small grievances had become so annoying and "larger than life" to us.
Surprisingly, most of these things were fairly simple to correct with just a little extra effort and thoughtfulness on both of our parts.
Needless to say, we started trying harder. You might try asking your husband or wife how you could make them happier - you just may be surprised at their answer. I would, however, like to give you one word of caution here - don't ask unless you are prepared to follow through with action. If you don't make an honest effort at changing, it will show that you were not sincerely concerned - and there will be a loss of trust suffered between you. Another thing you can do is keep separate daily diaries where you can jot down your thoughts, trials, and blessings - then set aside some time each evening to get together and share what you have written.
Once you are in the habit of sharing your heart, you may no longer need this to get you going - but it doesn't really matter how you do it Above all things, pray together and ask God to help you draw closer to Him, and to each other. Ask Him to help you - drop your defenses and open up in a way that you never have before.
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Don't get discouraged if you have setbacks or find that one or both of you are going back "on automatic. But if you discuss your failures, forgive each other, and start over again, I know you will see an immediate improvement. If your husband or wife isn't ready to make the effort, then you take the lead and change your life. If you really mean business, your determination to trust God and open up may spark their enthusiasm and encourage them to step out and try.
Remember, sin always hurts God the most - and your motive must be to see your loved one restored to a right standing with Him. If there is something that God wants you to tell your husband or wife, your reluctance to be honest about it is surely hindering their growth in the Lord. Many things are sensitive and hard to talk about.
Pray first that God will show you the right time, give you the right words, and that He will prepare your mate's heart to openly receive. Be willing to be wrong - and be willing to be the one who has to change. Make it clear that even though you may not love all that they do, it doesn't change the fact that you love them and want to see them grow in godliness and become more and more like Jesus.
If you are on the receiving end, don't be defensive. Don't bring up all the "good" things you've done lately - but honestly try to see where you have been wrong. Don't try to justify your sin, but realize that you have made some wrong choices that have hurt God and those around you.
Be quick to admit your mistakes and say you're sorry. If you are hard to approach, or get mad and snappy when shown a problem area - you will destroy some of the trust and openness you are trying so desperately to build.