All By Yourself? 10 Ways To Overcome Loneliness
Try to appreciate the perks of being single. Being in a relationship does not make you a better, more successful person, so don't think less of yourself for being. Learn strategies to overcome the isolation of depression and other “People who have a personal relationship with their God or a higher. Loneliness is always a downer, but when we feel lonely in a relationship, it might feel like a life sentence. Here are five ways to overcome it.
Why am I feeling this way?
Is it because nobody loves me? Because I am a loser? Because they are all mean? Theories about why you are feeling lonely can become confused with facts.
Then it becomes a bigger problem so just realize that you are having this feeling and accept it without over reacting. Reach out because loneliness is painful and can confuse you into thinking that you are a loser, an outcast.
You might react by withdrawing into yourself, your thoughts, and your lonely feelings and this is not helpful. At its best, anticipation of loneliness might motivate us to reach out and cultivate friendships, which is the healthiest thing to do if you are sad and alone. When you are a child, and your sadness causes you to cry, you may evoke a comforting response from others. Notice your self deflating thoughts. We often create self centered stories to explain our feelings when we are young, it is not unusual for children to assume that there is something wrong with them if they are not happy.
Habitual assumptions about social status continue into adulthood and if you are looking for evidence that the world sucks, you can always find it.
Being Single: How to Handle Loneliness | HuffPost
Make a plan to fight the mental and emotional habits of loneliness. If you realize you are dealing with an emotional habit, you can make a plan to deal with loneliness.
Since healthy interaction with friends is good, make some effort to reach out to others, to initiate conversation and face time even when your loneliness and depression are telling you not to. Yes, it is work, but it is worthwhile, just like exercising is worthwhile even when you are feeling tired or lazy. The unwillingness to have open communication about important issues creates walls between you. You may feel lonely if you or your partner use your sexual relationship as a form of control.
You will feel lonely if you or your partner stays up in your mind rather than being together with open hearts. Intellectualization can be interesting at times, but after a while it can feel flat and lonely. You may feel lonely if your partner judges you regarding your thoughts, feelings, looks or actions.
Dealing with loneliness - relationships, social activities, expats, and in general.
Judgment creates disconnection, and disconnection can be very lonely. You may feel lonely when you or your partner can't connect due to being overly tired, frazzled and overwhelmed, or ill. We stay connected with each other when: We are willing to be vulnerable and authentic, speaking our truth without blame or judgment. We are willing to feel our painful feelings and lovingly manage them and learn from them -- taking responsibility for all our feelings rather than avoiding them with protective, controlling behaviors.
When we are connected with ourselves, we can connect with our partner. We are willing to learn about ourselves and our partner, especially in conflict. We are caring and compassionate with ourselves and our partner.
We make time to be together to talk, play, make love, laugh, learn and grow. We are interested in personal and relationship growth. Time together, and growing in our ability to love ourselves and share our love with each other, are high priorities for both partners. But, being single and lonely can create problems. When you are single and not lonely, it is easier to ignore the external pressures surrounding getting married and enjoy being single.
But, when you are single and lonely, it is much harder to lay aside the pressure to be what others expect. It is easier to accept that there is something wrong with you or to feel hopeless because you are not married.
If we take no action to address our feelings of loneliness and stay in that head space too long, those feelings can start to drive our decisions. Feeling loneliness or fear from time to time as a single person is normal. In fact, it is normal for everyone. Problems arise when we make decisions that are designed to provide relief of temporary issues, like loneliness, but ultimately have long-term or permanent negative consequences.
Being Single: How to Handle Loneliness
The desire for instant gratification, especially in relationships, rarely produces the best results. At 30, and by nothing short of a miracle, I extracted myself from a relationship that I, by the grace of God and three good friendsidentified as going nowhere.
One of the shocking responses I got from friends after that break-up was how "brave" I was for ending the relationship. I could not imagine staying in an unhealthy relationship just to avoid real or perceived loneliness or being single.
I was lonely and sad in that relationship and for me, the result of continuing that relationship would not have helped me to avoid loneliness -- I would have ended up lonely and married.
I support relationships and want one, but only one that is good, healthy, and stable. We not only stay in bad relationships to avoid loneliness, but we initiate relationships as a solution to our loneliness. We get involved with people that we would never date but for the loneliness.
I had a friend who once took up with a man who lived in a basement room with no windows, had once been a mortician and admitted to her almost immediately within 10 minutes when they met that he has shot someone. This fella was so scary that I asked her to not let him know where I lived.